Maintaining a healthy work/life balance seems more challenging than ever: remote work, hybrid work, and commuting all have their drains on our internal batteries; always-on expectations are difficult to manage; and the threat of economic collapse is ever-looming, so how could we not try to work harder and earn more while we can?
Work/life balance is nearly a buzzword with how often we see the topic brought up. When ideas become popular, it’s easy for them to lose their meaning. In this post, I’ll cover what work/life balance is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to maintain.
What is work/life balance?
Work/life balance is the distribution of time and energy spent on work versus the time and energy spent on everything else — the “life” component. The concept is usually discussed in the context of extricating yourself from the demands of work and rebalancing toward the rest of your life.
We often hear folks talk about having a good or healthy work/life balance, but what exactly does that mean? Let’s break it down.
Healthy work/life balance requires boundaries
Boundaries — another buzzword in today’s online lexicon — do matter, and they can go both ways, especially when so many spend at least a couple days a week working from home.
Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be abrasive or rude. A simple explanation, like: “I’m really focused on this task right now, can I look at that meme in 20 minutes?” or, “I have an appointment scheduled that will be difficult to move, could we meet earlier in the day?” will do the trick.
I’ve seen rhetoric online where indignant people will tell you not to explain yourself because you shouldn’t have to. But let’s be real: that’s not how life works.
When you see and work with people every day, and have to maintain important relationships with them, a simple explanation is a matter of common courtesy.
Why is work/life balance important?
A healthy work/life balance is important on both sides of the scale. Better-balanced employees are more productive and satisfied at their jobs, and less stressed and irritable at home.
A 2022 study from Aviva even found that more workers said they were attracted to their current role due to the work/life balance (41%), more so than the salary (36%) — which is pretty significant.
What are the benefits of a healthy work/life balance?
Better mental and physical health
When we spend too much time working, we tend to ignore other aspects of our wellbeing. Our mental health tends to suffer as a result of being overworked. When we’re stressed, our bodies release cortisol, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands. Excess cortisol causes weight gain, high blood pressure, muscle weakness, and mood imbalances, among other things.
Less burnout and higher job satisfaction
By taking time away from your desk, you’re able to build more time into your day that isn’t focused on working. This helps you feel a sense of purpose and self outside of work, which can prevent burnout when you’re on the job. Both daily breaks and regular time off (if your company allows it) are important.
What does a healthy work/life balance look like?
Achieving a good work/life balance is different for everyone and depends on your needs and goals.
For example, if you’re dedicated to your career and it makes you feel super fulfilled, your healthy work/life balance might look like a scale tipping slightly more toward work.
If you’re overwhelmed or under-appreciated at work and it’s starting to wear you down, your scale might be tipped more toward your life outside of your job.
It’s okay for your work/life balance to change
My work/life balance changes constantly. Over the past few weeks, I’ve focused more energy on my job because my workload has picked up, and it feels good to stay on top of it.
However, I work from home and am frequently interrupted by cats or my husband (or his family, who we’re living with until our house is built).
Obviously, it’s hard to set boundaries with cats. But for my husband, who loves to chat and show me videos (or more importantly, house stuff) throughout the day, I occasionally need to let him know that I’m focused on a work task and can’t be interrupted.
Your ideal work/life balance will change as your priorities change, and that is normal. In this post, we’ll cover how to:
- Identify your current priorities,
- make sure you’re spending enough time on each one,
- and reprioritize when you need to.
Three categories to consider in your work/life balance
If you’ve never thought about your work/life balance before, it might not be obvious how these two things can be balanced, or what things should be considered.
1. Career goals and financial needs
For the vast majority of us, work takes a priority, and for good reason: We need financial security. Work can be stressful and the demand is sometimes beyond our control. So, we can focus our balance priorities on things within our control, like:
- Setting defined log on/log off times and not accepting meetings outside work hours
- Not accepting every project given to us, or setting timeline expectations that are realistic
- Requesting a compensation increase for increased workload
- Looking for a new job when your current position no longer serves your needs
2. Health and wellbeing
I’ve met far too many people who don’t make enough room for their health and wellbeing, or who underestimate the impact they could have on their wellbeing with just a bit more balance.
Health and wellbeing priorities might include:
- Getting a minimum of 7.5 hours of sleep each night
- Taking time to unwind and unplug — and not stare at a screen
- Cooking a nutritious dinner in the evening
- Getting up from your desk during the day to stand, stretch, or take a short walk
3. Relationships and community
When researching what contributes to the extraordinarily long lives of people in Blue Zone communities, a sense of community was found to be one of the most frequent correlating factors in a person’s lifespan. (You can read more about Blue Zones on Think Global Health.)
So, how are your relationships doing? I know I could benefit from a stronger sense of community, and I’m sure I’m not alone. Priorities in this area could be:
- Join a local community or club for an interest that you’d like to invest more time in — like a book club, pottery studio, gym, volunteer center, running club, or outdoors collective
- Be intentional (plan ahead!) about spending time with friends, family, or your partner
- Go to local meetups to chat with new acquaintances or network
- Join coworkers for after-work social activities or happy hour
Create your work/life balance sheet
It’s fun to call this a balance sheet, but the columns don’t actually need to balance each other out. They may be uneven, and if that’s the case, you’ll understand where you need to dedicate your time in order to feel fulfilled.
I’ve built a table with some examples to illustrate how you might incorporate the list items above. Feel free to borrow anything that feels relevant to you!
Example of a work/life balance sheet
Note that while my balance sheet only has two columns, I include fitness and starting a business under my “life” column. You may choose to break out your balance sheet into more columns with fewer items in each.
If you set up your worksheet this way, make sure you’re not taking on too much! I know — you want to achieve it all. I do too. And you can. But not all at once.
| Vanessa’s Work/Life Balance Sheet | |
| Work Priorities | Life Priorities |
| Earn a raise in the next year | Spend more 1:1 time with husband |
| Learn better time management by working in focused blocks of time | Work out every day |
| Develop a new workflow for my projects | Cook healthy meals every day of the week |
| Make sure I finish all projects on time | Regularly scheduled PT appointments |
| Earn enough to support our upcoming mortgage payments and continue saving | Start a blog and turn it into a business that helps people manage their lives |
| Build more strategic work into my day | Sleep at least 7.5 hours each night |
These seem pretty basic, right? Who doesn’t want to be healthy, make good money, and get enough sleep?
Yes, these are some of my current priorities and the list looks manageable, but it’s easier said (or written) than done.
Six steps to build a healthy work/life balance
1. Write sub-goals and tasks to help you achieve your priorities
Once you have your priorities added to your work/life balance worksheet, it’s time to add a task list that breaks down the things that will turn those priorities into everyday habits and achievable goals.
When planning out these sub-goals and tasks, your intention is to clearly and specifically instruct yourself on how to achieve your priority. Your tasks should be specific, easy-to-understand steps that make your goal or priority less daunting.
Writing out your goals can also help you track progress for long-term priorities. The answers to questions B and C will change over time as you get closer to achieving your priorities, so it’s good to check in with yourself at regular intervals.
Use the following prompts to break it down:
- What do I want?
- What needs to change?
- How can I make those changes?
Let’s build out a priority together:
Time to try it yourself! Select one of your priorities from your worksheet. In a notebook or on Notion, write out your answers to prompts A through C.
To give an idea of what this might look like, I’ll take one of my priorities from above and use the prompts to make it happen.
What do I want?
Spend more 1:1 time with my husband.
This might seem like a weird one to plan for — because it should happen naturally, right? Sure, we do spend time near each other, but we’re almost always working on our own projects, jobs, training, or we’re around other people.
What needs to change?
I need to plan ahead for fun 1:1 time because we’re not good at planning things at the last moment.
By the end of the week, we’re exhausted. It’s hard to plan fun things when you don’t have two brain cells to rub together. In our current state, I’m always disappointed when we don’t have a Saturday or Sunday to do something fun together. So, something needs to change at a time when I am capable of planning.
How can I make this change?
- Add weekly reminders into Google calendar for tasks 2 – 4.
- On Mondays, look ahead at the weekend to see which day James is free. Tell him you want to do something fun on that day.
- By Wednesday evening, decide on the fun activity, and remind James that we have something planned for our 1:1 day.
- One last reminder for James on Friday 🙂
These steps will work for me because they’re clearly defined — with a timeline and tasks for each deadline — and don’t involve a lot of work. I started with a task to set an automated reminder because I know there will be weeks when I forget my plan (like, every week).
I’m also planning for James to forget (are we a forgetful couple, or just busy? 😅). He doesn’t use a calendar app as religiously as I do, so I’ll set reminders for myself and text him if we’re not together.
2. Build your support system
Enlist support from family, friends, or significant others
Your family, partner, or friends need to be on board! Or, they at least need to not be dragging you down. Your environment is super important when it comes to creating healthy lifestyle changes. And one of the biggest components of your environment is… the people in it.
If you find that the people closest to you are constantly working against your ability to have a healthy work/life balance (intentionally or not), tell them that you’re trying to make a change, and ask for their support. In respectful relationships, I’d hope this request would be met with a resounding of course!
Try working with an accountability buddy
If you don’t have a close relationship to depend on, consider enlisting an accountability buddy to check in with. There are folks all across our lives who’d be willing to exchange support and check in on respective goals.
If you don’t have a friend to do this with, look for communities on social media, Slack channels at work, or clubs at school with relevant interests.
Find an inspiration community on social media
This is one of my favorites — a community doesn’t always mean something that you have to contribute to (though contributing does help for accountability). There are some really stellar communities on social media whose creators make inspiring content that can help you align better with your priorities.
For example, the #studygram and #bookstagram communities on Instagram are so cool, and something I wish I had access to when I was in school. Creators showcase unique approaches to studying, note taking, organization, tracking, book annotations, recommendations, and more. Regardless of your priority’s niche, there’s likely a community out there to inspire you.
Joining and contributing to that community — by creating a dedicated social account, for example — will help you find more people with priorities like yours, and can serve as a method for holding yourself accountable.
3. Set a schedule and hold yourself to it
Some priorities, like eating healthier, exercising, or limiting the amount of time you spend working, will depend on you setting a schedule and actually following that schedule.
Filling out two or three versions of a daily schedule worksheet (or a whole week’s worth, if you have kids with activities) can help you fall into a habitual rhythm that brings you closer to your ideal work/life balance.
Your daily schedule will depend on your priorities, but let’s take a look at this example based on the list of priorities I created in the section above.
Example of a weekday schedule for fitness and work priorities
This is the schedule that I follow on weekdays when I swim in the mornings, usually Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Note that I have a second workout listed because I am a triathlete and it’s a normal thing for our sport to train twice a day — but definitely isn’t required for general fitness.
I also recognize that not everyone has the flexibility of remote work or a self-directed work schedule. For both of these, I am immensely lucky and grateful to my company for the autonomy that I have.
So, with those disclaimers, let’s take a look.
Schedule: Weekdays with a morning workout
| 0600 | Wake up, get ready | 1600 | Life priority* |
| 0630 | Leave for the pool/gym | 1800 | Dinner |
| 0700 | Work out | 1900 | Life priority* |
| 0800 | Shower, dress, hair | 2130 | Prep time** |
| 0830 | Home, breakfast | 2200 | Sleep |
| 0900 | Start work | ||
| 1200 | Lunch or second workout | ||
| 1300 | Continue Work |
*In the above schedule, I’ve set aside the last hour of the work day and the evening time for life priorities. This could be working on your side hustle, enjoying a hobby, spending time with your family, or relaxing in whatever way you choose. Personally, I tend to spend this time wrapping up work, or drafting a post for Well and Pine.
**Prep time is super important: take this time to follow a nighttime routine that enables your success tomorrow. For me, this means setting up my gym bag and coffee maker so that both are ready for me in the early morning.
Build out a few versions of your ideal day
Could you borrow from this schedule at all? Create a couple different versions of your ideal schedule, and try each one for a week to see which works best for you.
At the end of each week, write a reflection on how you felt: was it enough sleep? Did you get enough time at work, or away from work? Were you able to set time aside for your different priorities?
At the end of this process, you may be able to pick one of the schedules, or pull elements from each and try something completely new.
4. Shortlist your priorities if it feels like too much
If you’re anything like me, you tend to take on too many things… all the time. When this happens, it’s time to make a shortlist of what you want to address first.
It helps to pick a method for prioritization. Choose things based on:
- How quickly you can get them done or turn them into habits, or
- How important they are for you.
Sometimes these things overlap — that’s great! A lot of the time, they don’t. That’s fine, too.
Picking your work/life balance shortlist
With the above in mind, try picking three to five things to focus on. Five things if they’re smaller or quicker to achieve, three if you’ve got some big efforts coming up.
I like to use this method to pick a mix of both options.
Again using my list as an example, my shortlist would probably be something like:
- Learn better time management at work
- Work out every day
- Spend more 1:1 time with my husband
I’d choose time management over my other work activities because turning this priority into a habit will make room for other priorities. And it will probably make me more efficient when it comes time to tackle the other priorities.
Daily workouts also become a habit after a month or two of consistent training. By the time that happens, I don’t have to fight myself to get going, waking up early is easier, and the training becomes enjoyable and meditative (a different type of relaxation!).
The husband time will always make my list because he’s my best friend, and nothing is more important to me than family.
5. Build habits around your priorities
As I mentioned above, sometimes your work/life balance priorities can turn into habits, like cooking nutritious food, working out, setting work schedule boundaries, or dedicating time to a hobby.
On the other hand, you can build habits that make your priorities happen. As an action becomes a habit, you spend less energy thinking about it — meaning that energy can be applied elsewhere in your life while still gaining the benefit of whatever habit you’ve built.
For example, say you want to start making more meals at home. This means you’ll need to build time into your schedule for cooking or meal prepping. Some habits to help you do this might be:
- Waking up earlier to make breakfast
- Consistently following a shopping list of healthy foods
- Logging off work 30 minutes earlier to make dinner
- Making extra for dinner so that you have leftovers for lunch
- Using Sunday afternoons to prep lunches, dinners, or chop and freeze fruits/veggies
Habit building had a moment recently, so there are tons of resources to help you build small changes into your life. I recommend two books, Atomic Habits by James Clear, and Badass Habits by Jen Sincero.
6. Re-evaluate your work/life balance frequently
As we mentioned in the what is work/life balance section, your priorities can change. So can your methods. Take time to reassess your priorities and subgoals on a regular basis. This will probably depend on your goal timelines and your diligence at working toward them.
Early on, you might want to reflect and assess frequently — like every other week. As you fall into a rhythm and find methods that work, monthly, bimonthly, or quarterly reflection will probably suffice.
When your reevaluating your work/life balance, think about the following:
- How many of your priorities have been achieved or balanced?
- Are there any priorities or tasks that you’re consistently avoiding? (Does the task need to change, or is it no longer a priority?)
- Do you feel less stress or more satisfaction from the changes you’ve made?
Throughout the process: Focus on things within your control
Much of this post is written with the assumption that you can achieve a healthier work/life balance by changing things that are within your control.
I know not everyone has flexibility in their jobs and not everyone can choose to say no to their families when they need to get work done.
That being said, don’t give up hope. It’s cliché but true: the only guarantee in life is change. It may take more time than you’d like, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort.
If you have made adjustments for things within your control and are still not satisfied with the outcome, evaluate a larger change and align your work/life balance priorities accordingly.
Good luck out there. I’m rooting for you.
Was this post helpful? Are there topics you want to know more about? Would you be interested in pretty printables for each step of your work/life balance journey? Let me know in the comments!